Memories Put to Rest
by reikat
Summary: A piece of the Dragonborn Triad. Eriah is visited by the specter of her defeated enemy and fellow Dragonborn, Miraak, while meditating at Paarthurnax's suggestion. Her foray into the soul-plane brings her thoughts and feelings regarding the First Dragonborn to light. Not shipping but can be read as having traces of it.


Eriah Quintence roamed through a white void where the only feature was a dense fog. This had to be a dream...or a vision. It didn't feel like any realm of Oblivion that she had ventured into. It felt the way it looked. It felt like nothingness. Good to know Sithis wasn't out to get her for destroying the Dark Brotherhood. Eriah could sense the presence of dragons but none appeared before her. She felt like she was forgetting something. Wait, the memories were coming back. She had returned to Skyrim after a mission in Solstheim and for a time, things were peaceful. That's when the dreams started. After a few weeks of struggling, Eriah went straight to the Throat of the World. She had gone there seeking guidance from Paarthurnax, her friend and mentor. She told him all about what happened on Solstheim and asked him if anything could be done to silence a particular soul she carried. Paarthurnax could only suggest meditation. Perhaps through it, she would be able to put to rest the one who haunted her. She paused, her heart giving a pained thump as a voice echoed through the void. A voice she knew well because it haunted her in her sleep, sometimes even when she was awake.

 _Here in my temple_  
 _Here in my shrine_  
 _That you have forgotten_

Eriah moved through the fog as if entranced. She could hear him around her, his voice a whisper in her ear. She thought she felt something brush her skin, which broke the trance. Long enough for her to wheel around and see only nothing around her. She took a deep breath to calm herself and continued through the fog. The voice started up again.

 _Here do you toil_  
 _That you might remember  
Here you reclaim  
What faithless minds have stolen_

Eriah's heart was hammering in anticipation. She was expecting something to come out of the fog at her. She knew she was surrounded by dragons but they were silent as if they weren't a part of her. For all she knew, she had been tricked by a Daedra into this state. But deep in her heart, she knew who had brought her here to this void. The one who never let her forget him. The one who made sure she felt the pain of knowing she was the only one left.

 _Far from yourself  
I grow ever nearer to you  
Your eyes once were blinded  
Now through me do you see_

Eriah froze as a pair of hands closed over her eyes, the voice speaking into her ear as if the speaker was behind her. She reached up to pull them off only to find her sight returned. She twisted her head this way and that, trying to see if anyone else was around. He was tormenting her, she realized. In this void, she was all but powerless. She wore ragged clothes, not unlike what she had worn in Helgen when she was nearly executed by the side of Ulfric Stormcloak. She had no weapons and she wondered if she even had use of her Voice. This unwilling show of powerlessness was meant to break her. To show her that she had no power here in the void. It was a trick.

 _Your hands once were idle  
Now through them do I speak_

Eriah felt, more than saw, that same pair of hands run the length of her arms to close over her own. Her body was acutely aware that someone was standing right behind her. She couldn't move under her own power. She felt an arm snake around her waist and she was shown a vision of Skyrim as if she were floating high in the air. She had seen this sort of vision before when Meridia tasked her with clearing out her temple of those defiling it with darkness and the undead. However, unlike that time, this vision showed Skyrim burning. Eriah lurched forward as if to stop the vision but the arm around her waist kept her still.

 _And when the world shall listen  
And when the world shall see  
And when the world remembers  
That world will cease to be._

"Enough of this. What do you want?" the Last asked, sounding almost defeated. She sagged a little, with only the arm at her waist supporting her. "Are you so easily broken, Dragonborn? Did you truly think to be rid of me so easily? To think I was defeated by one so weak." Miraak replied. His free hand placed itself on the back of Eriah's head and he pushed her to her knees. As he did, the dense fog suddenly blew away to reveal a grassy realm with trees dotting the area. "You didn't break me, fool." she spat, defiantly. She looked up to see her old foe standing before her, his back to her and his arms crossed. To her own surprise, he didn't have his mask on, revealing a head of brown hair. "And yet, you succumbed to me here when I'm nothing more than a soul lost in the sea of souls you've absorbed." he said. Eriah growled but still she felt unable to move under her own power. "Tell me, Dragonborn. You've faced many foes since you first encountered Alduin and embraced the destiny chosen for you by Akatosh. Each one you have battled and each one you have felled without mercy. Why is it that I elicit such remorse from you?" he asked.

"I already told you. It's because you're like me. Everyone else I killed was because they were an enemy to Skyrim or to my friends. I don't regret the actions I took." she snapped. "Don't lie to me, Dragonborn. It's unbecoming. Your soul is being crushed by regret for actions you didn't want to take but did anyhow. Need I remind you of your betrayal of Balgruuf the Greater while in the service of the Stormcloaks? He was a man you helped a great deal, a man you warned about Alduin's return, a man who followed your suggestion to trap Odahviing in his palace so you could reach Skuldafn and find your way to Sovngarde to defeat Alduin." Miraak said, coolly conjuring the suppressed memories of Eriah's regrettable actions that found her laying siege to Whiterun after Balgruuf turned down Ulfric's offer to be allies against the Empire. "Everything I did, I did for Skyrim's sake. The Empire is a puppet of the Aldmeri Dominion and Balgruuf chose to side with them despite being a Talos worshipper." she snarled. "Justification. How predictable." came the retort.

That was when the former Dragon Priest turned to look at her. As she had suspected, he was indeed a Nord. His face had the shadow of a beard, not unlike her new friend Farkas, and his cold eyes were black. He conjured another suppressed memory of when Molag Bal forced her to take the life of a Vigilant of Stendarr when he asked for her help in checking out an abandoned house in Markarth. The Daedric Prince then trapped them in it and ordered them to kill the other. Tyranus, the Vigilant, turned on her quickly and Eriah was forced to kill him to defend herself. As if it weren't enough, Molag Bal then forced her to bring him a follower of his rival, Boethiah, and kill him with the Mace of Molag Bal in order to be free. "Despite your attempts to avoid being a puppet to anyone, you were forced to kill two men who would've been no threat you otherwise. You regret this as much as your betrayal of the Jarl." Miraak taunted. Eriah managed to clap her hands over her ears. Still, her old foe persisted. Instead of conjuring memories of past actions, the First then conjured up memories of Ulfric Stormcloak. "This man is the center of your greatest regret, Dragonborn. Because I now reside within you, I know everything you keep locked away. This man holds a piece of your heart and you regret swearing to never let him know the most secret of your thoughts because he doesn't desire you as well. Love. Such a weak emotion, championed by the foolish." he said.

"Shut up!" Eriah shouted. She quickly found herself flat on her back, her wrists pinned to the ground as the First loomed over her. "You regret taking my life because I was also a victim of Hermaeus Mora's treachery and you regret you weren't the one to put an end to me. You want to forget ever learning of me, of all my past actions as a Dragon Priest, and your most secret desire was to redeem me, purely because I, too, was Dragonborn. When you absorbed my soul, I made sure it was painful because you have no idea what it means to be a dragon. You hang onto your petty ideals as a mortal woman, trying to control the instinctual desires that define the dov. You defy the desire to put an end to all dragons that would challenge you, including the one who is currently protecting your physical body on the outside. You continue to deny the triumph you felt when I was put down like a dog as well as the rage that the deathblow was denied you." he sneered, bringing his face in closer. Eriah jerked her head to the side, her lips set in a hard line. Miraak could see her pulse quickening and he sat back a little, still keeping her pinned. "Your compassion is your greatest weakness, Dragonborn. Having compassion for me is the greatest act of weakness I've ever seen. How foolish." he said.

He let her wrists go and sat back a bit further before standing at his full height, his feet on either side of her hips. "You're wrong about me. My compassion was a gift to me by Mara to counterbalance the warrior's heart granted to me by Talos. It's a strength. You are right, however, that it is foolish of me to feel compassion for you, my enemy. I may be a dragon's soul wrapped in a mortal shell but I'm still only human. I'm not like you, a Dragonborn who couldn't see beyond his own desires and help Tamriel when Alduin was running amok the first time. Instead, your decision not to help forced Hakon and the others to use an Elder Scroll and Dragonrend, which just shunted him forward to my time. I should hate you for pushing your destiny onto my shoulders but at the same time, you're partially responsible for me having the life I have. I hate you...but I hate Hermaeus Mora more." Eriah said, quietly.

Miraak just snorted derisively before stepping away and turning his back again, his arms folding behind him. "Your honesty is refreshing, Dragonborn. Now that you're stuck with me, you might as well tell me what you hoped to accomplish by falling into that meditative state and seeking me out." he said. Eriah lowered her arm to look at his back. She slowly sat up. "The soul of a Dragonborn, regardless of how he or she lives her life, belongs to Akatosh. If there were a way to expel you from my head, I would do so. I intend on keeping you safe until the time comes for me to go to Sovngarde. Perhaps that's why I came here. Perhaps then, we can have our final battle without Mora's interference." she explained. Miraak's shoulders shook as he chuckled darkly. "So contradictory, Dragonborn. You're a hard woman to read. Yet, that is part of your character. Even I acknowledge that your compulsion to help others is admirable. Tell me, am I the only enemy you've felt the need to help?" he asked. "First and only, for the moment. Only Akatosh knows if I'll ever feel this way about any other enemy in the future." Eriah replied, slowly getting to her feet. "Then our union will be rather interesting for me. I can no longer act of my own accord but perhaps it will be worth sleeping quietly within you instead of tormenting you further. After all, your compassion will never let you forget those you slew without wanting to, which includes me." he said.

He turned to face the Last who stared him right in the eye, regaining her edge of strength that befitted the Dragonborn. "You believe we'll meet again in Sovngarde so that we can see who is truly more powerful. Let this be a warning and a reminder: those who died once can still die again. Our battle in Apocrypha was almost halfhearted on your end. You only took me seriously enough to give it your all in order to prevent me from escaping but I know your heart wasn't fully into it because you let the knowledge I was Dragonborn get in the way. If we meet again in the afterworld, I expect you to be more committed to fighting me. Show me you're more than a mere woman." he said. Eriah looked at him with confusion and he slowly approached, causing her to stiffen. "You brought this on yourself. Even though I will choose to sleep quietly, I will make sure you never forget me either. You're already helping me with that, what with you enshrining my robes and weapons in your dwelling. A fitting punishment for yourself." he said. Eriah just scowled. "Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Just leave me be, Miraak. That's all I ask." she said. "Very well, Dragonborn. But in return you must swear to me that when we meet in the afterworld, you will fight me with everything you are. Swear it." he said.

The Last looked the First straight in the eye, her soul snapping as it met his. "I swear it." she said. "Good." came the reply. Before Eriah could even blink, Miraak was before her and she felt his teeth sink into her neck, their bodies flush together. It was painful and she instinctively tried to yank herself away. Her fingers sank into his robes, trying push him off. The First Dragonborn kept a tight hold and held her in place. _"Dovahkiin, daal wah zey uv hi fen kos sizaan."_ (1)a voice broke through the haze. "Paarthurnax?" Eriah whispered, before hissing as the bite grew stronger. _"Nu, Dovahkiin."_ (2) the dragon's voice insisted. "Zu'u...nis." (3) she said. _"Rok los ko hin klov nuz tol los pah. Rok lost nid saad suleyk avok hi. Bo rigir."_ (4) the voice replied. The Last felt Miraak's bite lessen before he let go and shoved her to the ground. She caught herself in time and pushed a hand to her neck. "What...did you do?" she growled, looking up at him over her shoulder. "If you really wish to know, ask Paarthurnax." the First replied before the fog started rolling in again. Eriah scrambled to her feet and the Dragonborns were swallowed up by the fog.

In the waking world, Eriah suddenly gasped as she came back to herself. Disoriented and confused, she looked wildly around. "Calm yourself, Dovahkiin. You have merely returned to my strumah." came the soothing voice of Paarthurnax from his perch on the Word Wall. Eriah looked wildly in his direction and she started to visibly calm. The white dragon looked at her with concern. "I will not ask what transpired in your soul-plane because that is between you and the Traitor. I do, however, apologize for bringing you out of it if it was premature." he said. "No. No, it's okay. We were...we were done." Eriah said, trying to still her erratic heart. She suddenly remembered that Miraak had bitten her before she came back to herself. "Paarthurnax...do you see anything?" she asked, pointing to the side that her soul-self had been bitten on. The dragon brought his head closer and she heard him snort in surprise. "There is a mark there. It's actually a brand, written in the language of the dov." he replied. "Damn fool said he would make sure I wouldn't forget. What does it say?" Eriah asked, cursing the First for what he did. "Hi los dii." (5) the dragon answered. Rage welled within the Dragonborn and she snapped her gaze to meet his. "The bastard claimed me!?" she raged. Paarthurnax reached over with a wing and none too gently pushed her into the snow. His way of saying calm down. "Not in the way you think. It's merely a promise that you and he are a part of each other, a reminder of whatever oath you swore in the soul-plane. If you're worried about what others will think, don't. The brand was written using our alphabet so it would take a scholar to translate it. It's easily hidden so no one would be the wiser." he explained, speaking as if to a child.

"The bastard can rot in Oblivion for all I care. To think I actually felt sorry for him." Eriah said, mutinously. "You say that but I know you don't mean it. You are never fully able to deny the side of you that feels compassion for others, even your enemies if you feel they deserve it. What's done is done. There is no magic nor power in this world that can lift that brand. You'd have to ask a Daedric Prince, Hermaeus Mora in fact, to take it away and I know your feelings on the matter." Paathurnax said, sagely. "No thanks. I've had enough of that one to last me a lifetime in this world and the next." Eriah said. Sighing, she sat up and brushed the snow off. "Looks like I'm well and truly stuck with this, then. If Miraak insists on mocking me with this brand, fine. It'll give me something to pay him back for if we meet again in Sovngarde. At least now, the dreams and the voices will stop." she said. Paathurnax watched as she headed for the trail leading down. "I'll see you again soon, my friend. Right now, I need to get back to Whiterun. I joined the Companions and it seems we may have found a shard of Ysgramor's ax." she said, pausing for a moment to look back at him. "I await your return as always, Dovahkiin." the white dragon replied. He watched Eriah descend the trail before letting out a low growl of displeasure. "Rinik meyus do hi, Vax." (7) he thought before returning to his own meditation.


End file.
